Of The New Chapter In My Life


Phew, I finally have a few hours to breathe. For the past few weeks, my life had been nothing short of crazy. And when I say crazy, I did not mean that I was too busy or anything – cause God knows I was not, I slept for 8-9 hours per day like a comatose patient. BUT I had been making some big decisions on my own, changing my life’s whole direction in the matter of a month. Or… let’s say three weeks.

The last time I wrote, I was trapped in a miserable job as a trainee lawyer in a law firm. After weeks of consideration, I decided to quit the firm. At the same time, I wondered whether I should attempt to continue being in the legal practice and decided, after a lot of thoughts, I don’t want to belong there at all. People may think that I’m suited to be a judge or a lawyer but in the end, if my heart does not want it, then there is no way I can ever be successful in being the person I don’t want to be. 

However, the thought of unemployment scared the shit out of me. My family would never be able to accept it – my mom, especially. Then, I applied for a teaching job somewhere in Kuala Lumpur, got it and started my teacher-training right away after I left the law firm. Suffice to say, I had zero break/rest to just ponder about life and spend weekdays reading and roaming around KL like a tormented youth. 


And my new job (I just started two days ago) is crazy as shit – in a superbly awesome way. I am awkward still, with teaching, children, reading storybooks, playing games and literally everything that has to do with encouraging them to love the language. In the centre I am working at, teachers are called ‘Mentor’s and the children address us as ‘Auntie’. And I am ‘Auntie Ruby’ – something I am still trying to get used to. Thankfully, despite my disastrous interaction with the children, my senior mentors have been very kind and helpful. The first half of my first week is a journey to know children in general and their learning process aside from exposing myself to the nature of being a Mentor. 

Hopefully, I will be able to gain the skills required to be a great Mentor. I love the elements of the job which includes spreading the love of reading and writing to children. I am extremely lacking in that department – I am not children-friendly BUT I hope that I would be able to guide them to love everything about language that I love. 

My family has yet to find out about me changing jobs. I’m not sure what is stopping me from telling them, especially my mother. Only my little sister, being the secret keeper of the clan, knows. I am waiting for a few more months to pass. Only then I’ll tell them, I think. Just to make sure that I’m a bit more settled with this job, able to move out of the family home and live on my own. Somehow, I feel the need to justify to them my unexpected choice to leave the legal field (albeit temporarily. I still want to continue my studies in a few years). And the only way to prove to them that I’ll be okay is to make sure that I am okay ie independent, financially secure, not as messed up as I am currently. 

It will be one hell of a roller-coaster ride. Grrrrr

FYI, two children called me fat. One said I came from planet watermelon. One pulled my shirt.

Hmmph, children. They do those kind of things….