By The Gorgeous Palah Chingu
You don’t want a girl of your own,
Yet you crave one for your son,
Oh lord, what a twisted world that I live in.
This sentence suddenly popped out of my head when I was watching this documentary. Why this kind of unfair treatment boys over girls did still exists when we are on the peak of world’s modernization still bothered me a lot. We even witnessed how mankind first took a first step on the moon. We applauded when every single achievement that man and woman did regardless of what are their fields because any success are meant to be celebrated. First car, hand phone, television and every single thing that you can think of were first invented. Unfortunately, this means nothing when some part of the country still think that girl’s value less worthy than boy. Some of you may ask ‘Is there any relevancy to this?’ Just think when a girl in this particular country got treated the same way as boy, she may one day become successful and in a long term can contribute to the economy of the country just like a man in her own country. It really is saddening when some of the mothers that confessed has been killing their daughters and didn’t felt any remorse at all. It was disturbing. I didn’t like kids (mostly because they are annoying but it doesn’t mean i can kill them) but seeing how those mothers proudly demonstrated how they end their daughter’s life made me cried so hard.
One of the social workers went to Tamil Nadu, India to interview some of the mothers and was shocked by their reaction. They are willing to share the method to kill their daughters without any hesitation. I seriously asked where they all leaved their humanity. For 9 months, those mothers carrying their baby and have bonded the relationship ‘mother-children’ yet when it comes to the delivering the baby, they rather killed the baby when they knew it’s a girl. For those who didn’t kill the baby, the girl might not even have a chance to live. That’s because those mothers live in the extreme poverty. They wanted a son because of the whole dowry thing. If you gain a daughter in law, you get a big payment and gifts. However if you gain a daughter, you have to give a big payment and gifts to your in law family.
This whole dowry thing sickened me to death but I am in no place to criticize it because it is not my culture. People often say, they are not yours so shut your mouth. India already banned it (the dowry) yet it is widely practiced in the country. When the burden (dowry) is being put on the daughters, nobody wanted to have one. I wanted to say we can change this via education but first, we have to let this daughters live first. Statistic shows that the gap between boys and girls population in India is increasing steadily driving the country on a verge of where the scarcity of girls might be possible.
China on the others hands, would be a whole lot different story. Their country are widely known for a policy of 1 child 1 family which right now has been increased to 2 child 1 family (if their first children is not son, they will be given another chance to have another children to get a son). The problem arises when your second children is still a girl. You can choose to keep the children but you may lose a chance to have a son. Forced abortion is permissible by China Government. If there is any family that has been found out try to have more than 2 children ( in many cases, they are expecting their third children) , forced abortion will be done right away. If the children did survive, he/she will not have any access to any government facilities and services. They are considered as Illegal citizen, up to some extent. This documentary showed China as one of the major contributor in the feticide cases. Social worker in China interviewed one couple who had to run away to hide from the family planning enforcement officer. They are having more than 2 children and all of them turned out to be girls. They have been pressurized to abort the third children by their relatives but both of them didn’t want to do that. They separated their children and given to their relatives. I wonder how people look at them for making this decision. They both went into hiding. The income that they earned, they send it back to relatives as a source to feed their children. I remember when one of the relatives commented that they should abort because it is a burden but the mother of those children said that it will be her burden to carry not yours. Listening to her answer made me feel so touched.
One of the most unforgettable scenes in this documentary is when one couple shared their experience that their daughter has been a victim of a bride kidnapping. Yeah, I thought it happened in Kyrgyzstan only but turned out China also had this case. This couple told the horrible story when their daughter has been taken from them. After a few months looking for the girl, they got information claiming that their daughter has been kept hidden in a different city, a few miles from their home. They got back their daughter (safe and sound) but what made me feel so uncomfortable is the intention of kidnapping the girl. The kidnappers (both husband and wife) actually wanted to have the girl as the bride to their son. It is a true story but yet it made my jaw dropped because the girl is so young. This is one of long term effects faced by China for a huge gap between the population boys and girls.
Overall, if you wanted to know the serious issues behind the gendercide, feticide and infanticide, this is one of the documentaries that focus on the listed topic.