Kapoor and Sons (2016) – Raw and Real Family Drama.

By The Gorgeous Palah Chinguz

Rating : 4/5

Seriously i didn’t expect anything in this film and it turns out to have everything ; emotional journey, Great assemble of casts, strong plot and extra points for having fawad in the film. He’s such a Bae. I swear my head just wanted to explode because I can’t brain how wrong I am to think that this will be another cliche Bollywood film. A lot of spoiler will be discussed later on as I can’t hold myself any longer. I need to get this thoughts out of my head as soon as possible.

Homosexuality and the society’s acceptance.

Rahul Kapoor, Arjun Kapoor and Tia Malik.

You’re kidding, right? It’s 2016 and we never had a fair share of bollywood films that tried to view homosexuality in a positive way. We mocked gays in the film and always portrayed them as too feminine and flamboyant person. Homophobic much? I get it that our parent’s generation might not accepted homosexuality and their takes on it will be it is not normal. How about our generation? Us? Millennials? Didn’t we saw that changes is coming? The cultural change can be done but it starts with us. With the right mentality, education and open mindedness, we can help them to feel that there are nothing wrong with them. It pains me to see how Fawad portrayed Rahul Kapoor , the perfect son, the successful author and the entrepreneur but still hiding in the closet. He pretended to have a girlfriend and all but deep down wishing that his mother will see right through him so he don’t have to pretend anymore. It was tiring living a double life and be a person you don’t want to be. Up to the point, he even said to his brother, Arjun Kapoor, that he’s willing to surrender his place of being the perfect son in their family to Arjun.

I wont drag my religion into it. Not to be defensive about it actually but i do believe what  you do and whom you choose to love is personal choice. It can only be between you and god. Simple as that. Fanatics, fundamentalists and conservatives might argue differently but let them be. They have no other job aside from being religious police.

Parent’s favourite child.

Rahul Kapoor and… his father’s broken car.

If you can’t figure out whose your parent’s favourite child, that means you are the one. If you can, then it’s real. Don’t cry, your parents are human too. They make mistakes and these are one of their mistakes that we have to make peace & move on eventually. Of course they keep saying they love your siblings and you equally but ……. I think you can figure it out. Sunitha Kapoor and His husband, may not vocally said that their favorite son is Rahul but all acts pointed it was him. In this film, Arjun Kapoor is the innocent victim caught in this parents’ disease (as I called it).Sidharth Malhotra’s performance as Arjun Kapoor is not bad at all. There are moments which you could feel how unfair his parents treated him. Rahul drove and accidentally damaged the car yet their father get angry at Arjun. Rahul’s room remain intact when he’s gone but Arjun’s room being used by their mom to escape from her problematic marriage. Both of them are struggling authors but yet their mother choose to save Rahul’s career by sharing Arjun’s idea to Rahul. That’s really fucked up and no excuses could make up for it. Sunitha has her own reasons to do so , I guess but it was totally unfair.

Infidelity in MArriage.

Harsh and Sunitha Kapoor reminiscing their fun memories.

I may not support polygamy but i know that there is no such thing as monogamy. People fell in love but they also fell out of love. When you get married, you not only need love to strengthen the relationship, you also need tolerance and compromise. I am surprised how many people didnt realized this and yet they wonder why they are not happy in their marriage. The question arose is how much longer can you tolerate and compromise, to what extend can you tolerate and compromise because for me if you tolerate and compromise too much, you’re going to lose yourself. Marriage is good for some people but if its begin to make you feel dreadful and despised it, then fucking leave. Why they bother to stay and try to save the marriage is beyond me. Rajat kapoor totally nailed the character of Harsh Kapoor ; Intense father and grumpy husband. Ive seen Rajat in his best performance especially in Ankhon Dekhi but this role also worth noting too. This is second time Ratna Pathak played Fawad’s mother and their chemistry never cease to amaze audiences. Fawad will always be the favorite son on screen, I presume especially in bollywood. What are the causes of infidelity in marriage? I just cant seem to place it mainly on the major cause.

Whenever I said Men wanted to be with younger and prettier wife, thats not necessarily true cause ive seen before whereby husband cheated on his wife with someone older/uglier than his wife. Is it because of unsatisfying and repetitive sex or lame bed skills? Could it be one of the causes of husband/wife betraying their own spouse? In this film, it was obvious that the feelings is not there anymore. Harsh Kapoor was having an affair with his colleague until he quitted his job at the bank. His wife knew the affair and thought it was over. She still taunted him occasionally but never in a million years thought that her husband is continuously meeting her behind her back.

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Overall, this is one of the good films that i’ve watched this year. Bad prediction from my side but i was satisfied the way this film turned out to be. Rishi Kapoor is amazing as a grandfather in this film. He is mischievous and playful. Rishi Kapoor take the acting to the next level by wearing prosthetic to portray someone 20 years older than his own age. Im sorry i didnt write much about him though.

Shameless (US) : Season 5 – What Happened So Far?

By the Gorgeous Palah Chingu

Warning : This post contained a lot of spoilers.

My Rating for this season : 4.5/5

First of all, sorry dear readers and followers for not updating this blog ( at least 1 post per week). It seems impossible (due to my laziness, of course). However, I need to let off some steams due to many series that i watched concluded their season in the most satisfying (yet i wanted more) kind of ways. For example, How To Get Away With Murder (season 1). Anyway, that’s not why i’m here. Today,I am going to review or babbling or whatever you guys wanted to call it, each characters in SHAMELESS and what did they bring to the table in this season.

1) FIONA GALLAGHER

Fiona and Sean.

Fiona and Gus*my bias. kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Fiona and Jimmy/steve

 She’s getting married to a guy she barely knew. Classic Fiona. When it comes to successfully destroyed herself and tangling in the complicated emotions, feelings and shit, she is the best. What were you thinking? Dont get me wrong, ( GUS is sweet, gentleman and everything that girl could wish for) but getting married a few weeks after she knew him, Nuh-uh, it doesnt work that way, dear!. Like i said, Fiona love to wreck herself and yes, she did when she fucked her ex-boyfriend, JIMMY/STEVE, right after the she’s got married. Things went south and Gus distancing himself from Fiona. Come on, who doesnt? You just fucked your ex boyfriend a few weeks after getting married. This is too fuck up. Fiona is trying her best to make the marriage work but i felt that this relationship wont last longer. As much as i would love to see FIONA-STEVE back together, I hate seeing GUS getting hurt in the middle of it.

2) LIP GALLAGHER

Lip Gallagher

Lip and Amanda

Lip and Prof. Helene

He’s always been my favorite character. He maybe an asshole when it comes to love, girls and relationship but he valued family above anything else. If you watched ‘The Originals’ Series, he is a bit similar to Elijah except he is Ghetto-ish and not a gentleman at all. Actually, i loved lip and his current girlfriend, Amanda. It’s such a shame if they really broke up this season. They have this compromise of being in an open relationship which Lip is totally cool to do it given that Amanda provides him a financial support. However, A new character appeared, which is one of Lip’s professors interested in him and they ended up fornicating. Amanda seems jealous about but since Shameless has 2 more episodes before season finale, we’ll just have to wait and see. [Crossing my finger] Please dont break up!!!

3) SAMMY GALLAGHER?*because she is a frank’s eldest daughter but she’s not sharing the same mother with the rest of GALLAGHERs

Sammy & Frank

Sammy, being the needy daughter.

Sammy & Chucky

This girl is lunatic. I mean by lunatic, not normal crazy like us, but really mad. We all know what happened last season when Frank tried to lure her in donating her liver (but failed due to some incompatibility issue). This girl got way crazy this season. She’s practically invited herself to live with other Gallagher’s siblings and make herself as 2nd Fiona. Since Fiona got married and got a job, she couldnt make time to care for Debbie, Carl and Liam. Fiona’s absence in the household leaving an opportunity to take over and taking care the household. Sammie felt that Her daddy (that’s what she called Frank) cant live without her after the operation. She used this chance to redeem her childhood which Frank was never in it. She has a mentally-handicapped son named chucky that she brought with her in the house.

4) DEBBIE GALLAGHER

Debbie tricked matty into sleeping with her.

Debbie confessed to Derek.

Debbie and Derek as official boyfriend and girlfriend.

Debbie, Debbie & Debbie. I am sorry but she’s not really giving what i need from Debbie. Debbie who used to be an outsider and doesnt really care has turned into someone needy, clingy and (whatever cliche words you can use to describe a teenage girl). When she wanted to get pregnant and try to persuade fiona into giving her permission, i swear to god, i just want to slap her. You can have sex but to throw you life away by getting pregnant? No way man. I support fiona in whatever decision she has made including dragging you to the abortion clinic.

5) FRANK GALLAGHER

Frank and Dr. Bianca

Bianca before she committed suicide in Costa Rica.

FRANK, FRANK, FRANK. I really hate him. I just couldnt handle how a father could be so freaking reckless, cold hearted and manipulative bastard. He played sheila to bear the responsibility of himself,  Sammy into taking care of him, the parent’s of his liver donor and of course, he somehow managed to find some sick doctor into running away and living her life as she will die the next day. Only this time, He fell in love so hard with the doctor. The cancerous doctor does not want to fight the cancer because she only has 3% chance of surviving. He tried to persuade her into living healthily and tracked her medicine time. Unfortunately, it didnt work. The doctor killed herself when they are in Costa Rica. He returned to USA as a heart broken man.

6) CARL GALLAGHER

Carl Gallagher

Carl and Debbie.

Carl in Juvie Detention Centre.

Carl and Debbie in this season is such a cute brother and sister. They always hissed and bickered at each other but come on guys, siblings are supposed to be like that. This time they are having some sort of competition of ‘who will be the one between them to lose their virginity’. Of course carl would cheat and using some sort of trick to earn that title. Debbie on the other hand, conceded but she vowed will not stop until her virginity is gone. It’s crazy but that’s what happened. Carl who always loved being the menace among  other gallaghers proved again that he is indeed irrational teenage boy. He entered the drugs world and being a dealer in such a young age. He took a wrong step and end up in the juvie world. He could get away from juvana if he said to the judge that he regretted his action but we are talking about carl here. He enjoyed his ‘thug phase’ and wanted to stay in the juvie. He insulted the judge and the court gave him a maximum sentence. Again, another headache to Fiona.

7) IAN GALLAGHER

Ian and Mickey

Ian and Mickey having fun with each other.

Ian and Monica

Ian’s character is probably having the most unexpected turns in this season. We all know that Monica Gallagher have this disease and Ian is the one who inherited it from their mother. This soon caused a chaos in the family as most of them could not handle ian’s unpredictability. He kidnapped his boyfriend’s son, he locked that baby in the car and he almost endangered that baby’s life when he encountered unfavorable situation with the police. Of course we couldnt blame him but dude, please take your pills. I know you say it’s not you and you dont want to live the rest of your life depending on that pills but considering you almost killed your sister, you are way out of line. The break up is the worstttttttttttttttt thing ever. I am so rooting you and mickey will end up together. What the fuck? Breaking up is not the solution. I really like you guys. You guys made dysfunctional love sweeter than ever.

8) VERONICA AND KEV

Kev returned to Veronica

Kev & Veronica

It’s just a phase guysssssss. This thing happened in marriage. However, it’s funny how the roles reversed between two of them. Veronica or Vee that we all love being sass and funny didnt enjoy the new kev. The three babies should be a pure joy to  Vee but she just didnt feel that way. Kev has shifted all of his attention to their babies and left Vee felt loveless all the time. They often fought about it causing Vee to move out temporarily. Due to that, Kev felt so frustrated but managed to take care of their babies separately. Both of them are miserable without each other but just too egoistical to forgive each other. Time passed by and they both try to moving on but they just couldnt do it. Vee try to go on a date with her high school lover but she just couldnt bring herself to sit on the table. Kev is just a different story. He joined lip business venture selling weed in school and turned himself into coed’s magnet. They called him ‘the rape walker’. He just manipulating the chivalry to ensure the girls would invite him to bed. Yes, he has alot of sex and he confessed to vee. (of course, again, it’s a normal sentence man would use to a girl which is it’s just not the same with you). Vee forgave him and he promised that he will try to save their marriage together with her.

REDANG ISLAND — You’re a true Beauty

By The Gorgeous Palah Chingu*The opinions expressed in this post are strictly the author’s personal opinions and other individual’s experience may vary.

——- MY FIRST TIME EXPERIENCE BEING (AN UNOFFICIAL) VACATION PLANNER TO MY FAMILY.

4 months ago, I went to Redang Island but I never had a chance to write about it. By chance I mean, I don’t have ample time to do so and somehow writing about my own vacation will drive readers goes bleghhhh. However, lately I felt the urge to write about it probably because I really need a vacation and nature is the best stress reliever. Besides, this is my first time being a vacation planner for my family. Originally, one of my eldest brothers and I decided to give a present of vacation package for the 30^th anniversary of my parent’s wedding to them. My father somehow had another plan in his mind. He wanted all of us go and join the vacation. My mother didn’t mind at all and I was at that time is the only one who had a free time to be a planner. After doing some research on the price and where the best resort to stay is, I stumbled upon Redang Mutiara Beach Resort. Compared to other resorts, this place is quite affordable if you wanted to stay on the island.

This is where we have to wait for the ferry to come.

Family Photo first (my youngest brother is not in the picture).

We drove from Kuala Lumpur at 10.00 PM on 11 April 2014 whereby the total hours taken to arrive at Terengganu is nearly at 8 hours. We almost lost because finding a small jetty (Merang Jetty) in the isolated area in Terengganu is not easy. Luckily, Waze and Google Maps is pretty much comes in handy in times like that. We arrived at Merang Jetty during Dawn and we slept at Mosque right after Subuh Prayer. Around 8.30 am, we took our breakfast and readied ourselves to wait for our ferry to come and get us. The Itinerary give by Redang Mutiara Beach Resort is pretty much clear and detailed. However, they failed to excel at punctuality. We waited for almost an hour before the ferry arrived and take us to their location. Being an unofficial planner is not easy especially people are expecting you to do everything and if every single thing is not going the way that they wanted, they’re all whining like a bitch. That’s what happened to me. I booked a family suite for my family considering we have 9 people including my parents and my brother’s wife and son. The resort website featured the pictures of their resort near the beach. I was expecting that our family suite is near the beach but it was disappointing seeing that the location is almost isolated and a bit far from the beach. One thing that I really enjoy from the location of our family suite is it is very close to café. Whenever breakfast, lunch and dinner are served, we are among the first one to arrive.

Family Suite

I am also surprised to the lack of organization and cooperation from the staffs there. We arrived there and somehow expected a ‘welcome drink’ at a café as stated in the itinerary. I was wrong. We have to do our own drink and only food is served according to time give. The dry pantry is located near the café where you can get an unlimited supply of Nescafe, Tea, Milk and Sugar there. The hot water also available most of the times considering the part of ‘you have to do your own drink’ is 24/7. The disappointing look from my father when he got to know about this is just unbearable. Of course, it is my fault because I didn’t ask but hey, who would expected that a welcome drink is ‘do your own drink’. If this happened to any of you, you will be sure as hell didn’t expect it too. The family suite is pretty nice. It has 2 rooms with 2 queen beds in it. There is only one toilet attached with shower and sink and it is located in between of the 2 rooms. The food served at the resort is okay. The reason I say okay is because of the price we paid, we should get more than that but somehow, since the taste is not so bad and you can eat how much you wanted to eat, I probably should stop complaining.

at Redang  Mutiara Island Resort

Cafe at the Redang Mutiara Resort.

The lack of activities to do at night is what baffled me the most. I was expecting to see some board game as they did mentioned indoor activity in the itinerary. My brothers did go out and play a carom but that’s it. The rest of it like throwing darts or playing card is nowhere to be found. The resort should improve their itinerary by informing the details where to get it and who is the person in charge in the activity. When we arrived on the first day, the staff told me that snorkeling activity will begin at 2.30 PM and anyone wanted to join should wait at reception. My brothers and I decided we wanted to join on tomorrow’s snorkeling trip because we are too exhausted that evening. An 8 hours non-stop driving from Kuala Lumpur and a very little amount of sleep could do that to you. On a second day, I woke up with the hope of going to a snorkeling trip that I missed yesterday. When I asked the counter, they said the boat is already gone. I am so angry at that time. In the itinerary they said it would be at 9.45 but dude, I was there at 9.30. Having to be dismissed right away by the unfriendly staff, I went to a beach to cool myself off. Later, my brothers joined me too. The beach cured my anger right away. With very clear water, white sand and you can see some of the tropical fish, it is magnificent view. After 1 hour playing in the water, we have been approached by another staff at the resort asking whether we wanted to go to snorkeling. I told him that some of the staff said that the boat to snorkeling already gone. He claimed that’s not true and asking my brothers and I to go to the jetty right away. The false information like this showed that some of the staff there is incompetent and should not be allowed to work at reception area. Just imagined if there are no staff reached us and told us that snorkeling has not yet started. It would be PR disaster because I would sure as hell did not want to recommend any of my relatives and friends to go there.

A clear blue seawater

Jetty at Redang Mutiara Beach Resort

Breath taking view

We went to Marine Park which took about 15 minutes to arrive from Redang Mutiara Jetty. Upon arrival, I was so amazed. The water is super clear and the tropical fish in it is so colorful. We wasted no time there. Although I don’t know how to swim but floating is one of my skills that I am so proud of. Using the goggles and life jacket provided by the resort, we started our adventure in Marine Park. My youngest brother tried to teach me to swim but it already failed in the first 5 minutes considering I am panicking whenever he let go of my hands. Some of the visitors there brought white bread with them to feed the fish. I just hope they feed the fish responsibly and know where to put the plastic package of the white bread where it belonged. 1 hours and half passed us by without any of us realize it. I really enjoyed this activity. If I knew how to swim, imagine what would I say if I try scuba diving? That would be so much fun. We went back to the resort with the smile of my face. Of course, my face burned and my body ached so much but it’s all worth it. In the evening, there is another snorkeling activity arranged by the resort. I persuaded my parents to join the activity. Unfortunately, we didn’t go to the Marine Park but we go to another island with wide beach that doesn’t limit people to do swimming, snorkeling and scuba diving. Marine Park is gorgeous but this one is more tourists friendly. My dad who is enthusiastic in fishing felt that he could catch some of the big fish there if he brought the fishing rod. Most of the area in Redang Island is protected area so there is no fishing activity allowed there. If you wanted to go fishing, you have to rent a boat and went to the area that fishing is allowed which is a bit far from the island.

Spending quality time with my brothers

My nephew and his own version of sand castle

By the way, if you happened to go here and expected some fresh seafood to be served during BBQ, please lower your expectation. I really hope that their BBQ in itinerary will serve fresh seafood like squid or seashells and it’s not. It turned out my father was right. There’s a hot dog and some frozen food that has been cooked earlier. Another disappointment served us that night. We went back to KL on 14 April 2014. We checked out right after the breakfast and arrived at Merang Jetty around 11. We did some sightseeing at Kuala Terengganu before heading back to Kuala Lumpur at 4 PM. We arrived at KL around 11 PM. Yes, we are disappointed with this vacation but I redeemed this feeling with the experience of having to try snorkeling for the first time and enjoyed the serene feeling underwater with fish swimming under me. It may look ordinary to some of you but heck; I would love to do it again and again. You will find no picture on Marine Park because we left our phones at the suite. Even if i bring my own camera, it does not have waterproof feature where it would be useful to take picture of tropical fish at the Marine Park.

Overall rating for this Redang Island trip:

My Rating: 3/5

1) Marine Park (Snorkeling Activities): 4/5

2) Facilities: 3/5

3) Accommodation: 3 /5

4) Food: 3 /5

5) Staffs: 2.5/5

[Book Review] – A Fort of Nine Towers (2013) By Qais Akbar Omar

By The Gorgeous Palah Chingu

“I have long carried this load of griefs in the cage of my heart. Now I have given them to you. I hope you are strong enough to hold them.”- Qais Akbar Omar

My Rating: 5/5 (Thats because I have not been so moved by a book in a long while).

If you ask me is it that GOOD to give 5 stars for this book, i would say 5 is not good enough. I cried, I laughed, I cheered and I felt all sort of emotions that the author told me via his story. This book consisted of 3 parts of author and his family story in it. The first part, you felt warmhearted imagining at the back of your head how he told his childhood story. The way he presented his point of view about his culture is just an honest expression of how he felt due to the way he was raised. He was born in the Pashtun Family and he lived together in a big house with his uncles, aunties and his grandfather is in their culture. He talked about it and enlightened those who find it such a strange culture. He described his childhood to be bright and colorful as he was surrounded by playful cousins and loving relatives. He pointed out that though his family are from Pashtun ethnic but he never spoke Pashto in the house. All of his family members are comfortable using Dari (another language that are widely used in Afghanistan aside Pashto). It is not a big deal for him because he learned Pashto and knew how to use it but he stated that he preferred Dari More. The Kite competition during his past childhood is one of the fiercest battle he ever encountered when he was a kid. He bragged about how his cousin Wakeel can easily defeated other opponent and has been named as ‘The Cruel Kite Cutter’ in their neighborhood. He cherished the moment of one of his family’s servants, Bahar helped him to win the competition by cutting Wakeel’s kite. For the author, The childhood in the big house with all of his cousins is one of the best memories he had.

The second part, you started feeling sad and wanted to help them to get through that awful war ( from Russian, Mujahideen, Taliban and American army). When the war (The Mujahideen Army) is approaching Afghanistan, The Author’s family felt that they are the savior. They had came to chase the Russian and Communism. They felt optimistic about this Army and wished that they will build back their destroyed nation. They are indeed wrong. Not long after Mujahideen’s arrival, The power struggle between factions occurred. Many died because of that. The author’s family felt they are no longer safe staying at their big house. The battle between factions of Mujahideen had turned most of them from being a ‘God’s Man’ to ‘Low-class criminal’. They robbed other’s properties and killed those who defied them. Fearing that their life will not be saved, the author’s family decided to take a refuge in his father’s friend house. They stayed there until American Army came to hunt every single Taliban army that resides in the country. The whole feeling when i read the second part is helplessness. I cant bloody do anything, I just keep moving on to the next pages, hoping the author’s family survived the calamity fell upon them. There was one scene that i deeply remembered because i truly feared that the author and his grandfather will not survived. First scene is when his grandfather stubbornly wanted to take a look at his house that he left a long time ago since Mujahideen Army came. He wanted to bring Author’s uncle originally but his uncle pleaded to wait until a few days for ceasefire between factions to happen. However, His grandfather could not wait any longer and ordered the author to go with him. When his father did not object his grandfather’s decision, he knew he had to accompany him no matter what. When they are on their way, They has been captured by Hazara’s faction of Mujahideen. It was truly a terrifying moment. They had been locked in a room where the walls are full of writing of those who ever lived in it. His grandfather knew that they are going to be killed. He told the author to be strong and in case if he’s got a chance to live, try his hardest to escape. He also told the author that those men might ‘used’ him but he insisted him to endure as surviving is more important. The author cried and asked his grandfather to stop talking nonsense. When the leader of the faction asked what they are both doing in the area, His grandfather told that they are visiting his house in the area. It turned out before the war, the leader is one of the students of the author’s father. He decided to let them go and send them both back. The author picturized the whole scene as his first death escape experience.

The third part is where the age of ignorance came and how the Taliban rules did alter the whole nation. He told what he deeply felt about them in this book. He stated that they brough strange peace into the country. How peace can be such strange thing? He revealed decrees of Taliban that insisted on Hudud Punishment and Fundamentalism of Islamic Law. No Music, No Entertainment, No Pictures, No Free Relationship between Boys and Girls, No Open Courtship and up to the extend of NO to everything. How did they governed Afghanistan? They said Yes to everything which considered good in Holy Quran. When he said strange peace, he does not mean it a good way. He felt the Afghan community and culture suddenly died and they can no longer do what they usually did. He said girls in Taliban’s time faced it much worse because they cant attend school , they have to wore Burqa all the time , they cannot work and they have to be accompanied by their male relatives if they wanted to go to other places. He portrayed vividly the moment of how Taliban used the stadium to carry out the punishment of those they claimed to be a sinner. To witness the scene of girls being stoned to death, the thieves whose hand is being cut and the murderers being shot at the head right away is one of the horrifying moments author ever had. He also reflected back the time he went to jail just for not cutting his hair according to Taliban Standard. In the jail, he was beaten by the religious officers and only to be released when he could answers all of their questions about Islam and Taliban.

According to this book, The author’s cousin named Wakeel and his grandfather played a big role in his life. He cherished both of them in temple of his heart. The wording that he put in this book to portray them both is simple yet poetic. You can sense his sincerity and tenderness in the book. The author even managed to share some of the stories of good people he met despite of war in his journey back and forth with his family.Whether it is from Hazara, Turkmenistan or Pashtun, They are indeed kind people who helped him when he needed it.

Can you see how huge this book is? The book size that i preferred is on my left (The Kite Runner Book) and in the middle one (which i tolerated because it is not that heavy).

To be honest, I hated books that had a huge size (compared to the normal size) which is for me difficult to hold it during reading. This book turned me off right away when i first saw it sitting among bookshelves in a local bookstore. I wanted to ignore the book and move on to another section but my instinct kept asking me to flip a few pages of this particular book. I turned a few pages of this book and i sighed. There is no foreword or rave review by other famous authors. I am skeptical at first but i bought it. I bought it in the sense that i loved non fiction books and above all, it is middle-eastern literature especially from Afghanistan and Iran. After reading a few chapters, I was completely blown away. I wondered how Afghani authors (Khaled Hosseini and others) can easily grasp my attention and i am completely hooked on the way he told his tale. If you like Khaled Hosseini, You should buy this book. What differentiate Qais Akbar Omar from Khaled Hosseini is he did tell the TRUE story and what really happpened to him while he was growing up in Afghanistan in a time of War. I can assure you guys that this book is indeed one of the best books i’ve ever read in 2014.

Kelantan, The Home that I Knew

by Ruby Gege, in a sentimental non-entertainment post.

Home is where the heart is. And my heart is nowhere to be found.

As I find myself reaching adulthood amidst the busy life of Kuala Lumpur, I keep looking back at the memories I used to have as a child. I was not particularly thinking of anything but I knew something was amiss. The younger days were calmer and happier. I had a life to live, people to love and places to go to. Not that I don’t have that now – I still do. But things are different.

Slowly, the concept of home changed. I realized, then, that my home was never a house – it was the people that I loved. They were my home, my shelter, my security. Only after I had lost them I realized that my heart had been looking for them all this while. To go back is not happiness, to go back to the people you love to is.

I had always prided myself as a Kelantanese. Kelantan, for me, was home. Though I practice very little of the Kelantanese culture as of now (except for the dialect and food), to see or taste anything Kelantanese would activate that naïve Kelantanese girl in me. I am so different now. My self as a person, for many, is perhaps no longer a Kelantanese but one who used to be a Kelantanese. I don’t yearn or miss the land I know now but the Kelantan I knew in the past, the land of my late grandmother.

Unconsciously, from the time I was eighteen to twenty two years old, I personified Kelantan in the form of my grandmother. I thought it was the land itself that pulled me back there five times a year but it was not. It was my late grandmother, whom I had ignored for many years. As I looked forward to meeting my aging beloved, she became my home. Each time I stepped onto the old house where she was waiting for me, I was home. The love had received me. I was happy.

Now that she is gone, the Kelantan that I have always yearnt to return to is no longer there. The land now has since become a stranger for me, a land without my beloved. So bitter is my feeling that I find no actual desire to return to the place where two loves of my life were buried. Almost five hundred kilometers away, all I could sense is my loneliness that has grown more intense. Each time I think of Kelantan, I think of my childhood, my happy school years, my late grandmother and my late father. I think of all the love I received. I think of all the devotion I gave. I think of all the people who were so dear to my heart but have grown distant from me overtime. I think of all that and I realized that… I have been thinking of my past. I see my future and the desire to go back is no longer there. Why?

Because I want to go home so badly. However, my home is nowhere to be found.

I see where I am standing on as a place I belong to. I belong to the life and situation I am in now. But do I feel that I am at home – I am not sure. At times, I feel like I am going through a journey. There is so much more to learn, so many lessons to experience. Me as a self is incomplete. It is as if I am in a process of discovering and improving myself, all in the name of finding where my heart is, and hopefully, the home I’ve been looking for. 

*Since it will sound very cheesy if I express all these worries to my family or friends, writing seems to be the most appropriate source. Additionally, it can be a therapeutic experience. It helps, to be able to express what you have in mind by doing this, hehehe. Thank you, blog-creator, whoever you are. Ruby Gege is forever grateful for you.*